A very crazy person just emailed this to me and told me to post it. Enjoy.-Jesse ZieglerSPY GUY ONLINE BLOGEVS Neck Support System Uncovered. What’s up peeps? Spy Guy in the hizzie fo’ shizzie. I was kickin’ it old school with my homies and my lady homies the other day (today) when I had this urge to investigate and uncover a completely radical, totally new product. One of such revolutionary thinking that I’d be tempted to not even tell you, my main spies and lady spies, about it and its inherit sweetness.
What I found were a lot of dope, radical products out there on the superhighway of love…er, I mean information that fit into the world of dirt bikeness. All of which were just waiting there for me to steal.
This is mostly due to my supreme hacking technique and stupendous dam-skippiness. Also, I kick serious butt on a moto course and do whiskey diggers with the best of them off the super kickers. I digress.
What’s important is how I uncovered this new product. This is how it went down: I smoothly and coolly opened my roommate’s laptop (never use your own laptop for covert network infiltration) and logged in as a very buff and tough Second Life avatar named Root_N_Tooty_Fresh_N_Fruity inside the fantasy online “game” www.secondlife.com.
Then I danced.
I did a set of jiggy-with-it moves and soon other Second Lifers were walking over to see what I was up to. It was there that I met my informant. We’ll call him Ned, Ned Ryerson. We pre-arranged to meet on Second Life because the police are too dumb to catch us there.
I continued to dance.
All this dancing was for a reason. And that reason is secret. So you will not find out why I was dancing no matter how many Linden you offer.
Soon, after Ned Ryerson and I teleported off to a more chill pad, he spilled the beans about the newest product from the company he works for.
Ned works for EVS. A company most well-know throughout the dirt biker’s realm for supplying some guy named Travis Pastrami (my spell check says this is how you spell his last name even though I typed “Pastrana” in accordance to EVS’ official website; www.evs-sports.com ) with pads for his knees.
EVS assumes fellows of Pastrami’s kind need neck support, too. So they made this thing called the RC_EVOLUTION race collar.
After I agreed to buy Ned Ryerson a Second Life house for about 100,000 L$ he let me teleport into a virtual EVS marketing meeting and this is everything I heard before I followed a hot lady avatar to a dance club and busted some sick moves.
- EVS isn’t going to sell this thing until May, 2008 at the earliest.
- The RC-EVOLUTION has been designed from its inception with the assistance of top orthopedic professionals to reduce neck compression and extension related injuries.
- The EVS RC-EVO offers more effective load transfer to the shoulders, and deals with filling the space between helmets and shoulders more effectively than other devices.
- Other plusses are simplicity of use, easy adjustability, lower weight, lower bulk and: it works with EVS roost guards and everyone else’s.
- Colors available are rumored to be Black, Red, Blue and White and a special Pink one for you lady dirt bikers.
……………One day later………………..
Sorry, I’ve been gone for a while. I was dancing all night with a starlet named HurtzSoGood when, at around 3 am, Ned Ryerson came over and clued me into the fact that she might be “packin’ heat”.
Instead of loathing in a pool of self pity or disinfecting my brain with a Clorox nasal rinse, I investigated her ISP number and found she was, in fact, an inmate at South Southern Georgia Regional Men’s Detention Center.
Firecrackers! I’ve been duped by a dame in a short virtual skirt!
I hope Ned Ryerson wasn’t blowing dirt up my main jet…we’ll see in May.